I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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