So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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