at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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