Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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