you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
