it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
