I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
