I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
