Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
