You can't special order awesome
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
