It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
