Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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