I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
