omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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