Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
