that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
