Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
