Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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