You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
