You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
