what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
