dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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