I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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