I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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