just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it's great music for shaving your balls
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
