i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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