Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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