You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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