I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
