i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize