what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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