mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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