your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
