Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm passing your future prison.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
