Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
