ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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