I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize