i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
vagina is talking i cant
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
