? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
