he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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