singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
