I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I am spending my child support on dildos
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
we're so committed to being not committed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
