he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize