Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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