Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
