He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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