Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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