he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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