yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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