Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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