Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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