i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
