Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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