i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
