so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
