Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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