she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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