Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
