I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
