u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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