is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize