Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
