Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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