help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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