she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
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