have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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