It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
