Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
