Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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