just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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