I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
