I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
