I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The beer is more important than you right now.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
