Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
