They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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